Disconnectedness

Space.  I'm not particularly always pleased with the location in space I find myself.  It's far too hot for my liking, way too much humidity, and not nearly enough good snow in the winter.  It's on these occasions I find it more palatable to remove my consciousness from this spatial location and imagine the pleasant immediate surroundings to be located spatially elsewhere.

It's not that everything in my immediate vicinity causes an angst-ridden existence, but there is certainly enough to cause daily discomfort and dissatisfaction.  The suburban feel of the urban is enough to drive me mental on most days.  And if I were to try walking more than a couple blocks in any but a handful of very specific directions I would find myself surrounded by the idealization of the American dream.  Or at least the one from the 1950s.

For those who know me well, you by now surely know that I don't particularly buy into that dream.  There is no white picket fence for which to house the small nuclear family with 2.1 replacement fertility children and a lovable guard/family dog to play inside that fenced in yard.  This isn't me saying that the dream itself is ridiculous, realistically without it we would be decreasing in population and that isn't particularly a good direction to move.

What I am saying is that I can't stand it.  There's far too much compromise in the faces that I see.  Far too much sadness and dissatisfaction with the world.  Or maybe it's the face of an absent mind.  The question for me is, can happiness actually be obtained in the world of compromised ideas?  In a world where the media directs us to what to think and believe?  If so, why do we make believe so very much?  There seems to be a very basic logic problem.  Either I can believe that zombies are real and were invading my neighborhood the other night, or I can suspend my sense and state of being and participate in the illusion that zombies are real and are walking the street.

This question seems to boil down to a very specific point for me.  Can we suspend our 'self' from our 'Self' often and long enough to navigate the world around us?  The lowercase 'self' in this case is being used to define the person that we show to the world around us.  The thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions that we choose to share with the social world around us.  The uppercase 'Self' is the person that we truly are when we introspectively understand our thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions.  It's not the person that we share, but it's who we really are.

If we suspend the two from each other and create a large enough disconnect between them, are we just lying to ourselves or to each other?  In the same way, who am I lying to when I imagine the space around me to be located elsewhere?  Myself or everyone else?

Hallway Photo:  jeffk  Zombie Photo: Lousiville Zombie Walk

Lights in the dark

This isn't some ominous post, and I'm not talking about anything high fantasy.  There is no ring and no short hairy-footed hobbits that need to toss it in a giant volcano.  No, this is far less world changing in sorts.

The electricity went out in my neighborhood and city yesterday.  It wasn't until 20 hours later that the power and lights came back on.  We weren't particularly prepared for the eventuality of losing power for an extended period of time and had only a single candle in the house.  No batteries for the old flashlights to speak of.  Just a single candle found as the last rays of sunlight were illuminating the dark streets.

It was the first time in my adult life I'd been without electricity for an extended period of time.  Sure, I've had the power go off for a few minutes at a time, but never before 20 hours.  I can think of once or twice I've gone without power because I was camping, but that's an intentional choice to be without and care is taken in planning for it.

It got me to thinking about electricity and the roll it plays in our lives.  It cools us.  It warms us.  It cooks our food often enough.  It's there with us from the moment we wake up to an alarm clock to the moment we fall asleep to the timer on the radio.  We spend so much time using and being with electricity that it's the silent partner to our daily routines.  Most people have a cellphone, or a digital phone.  Rotary phones are few and far between these days.

It reminds me of the robots in R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots) (Penguin Classics).  Only instead of us fighting the robots.  We have become part robot - or cyborgs.  It's not that we've put computer chips into our bodies, or we run partially on electricity, but rather how we operate and move through life.  We have lights in all our rooms for illumination.  We have computers, televisions, satellites, cellphones, and DVD players.  All of these things have become part of what makes us who we are.  Do we fight these inclinations as the humans fight the robots?  We certainly do, but at the same time we also embrace the advancements that make our lives easier and more filled.

Social networking for the younger generations is an ever increasing part of this cyborgization.  So without electricity for even 20 hours, the pain is easily felt.  And I still had my smartphone to get me through the hours.  Next time I'll at least have more than one candle.

Absolute Space and Perception

Isaac Newton had this theory about space and it's absoluteness.  He thought that space was basically a giant grid. And objects could be seen to be moving by their change of coordinates basically.  It's really not that bad of an idea.  Granted, he was eventually shown to be incorrect and now we even know that space itself is moving-sort of.  Expanding would be a better word for it.

That concept just blows my mind.  How can space, the areas of life that we perceive as empty, be expanding.  Scientifically I have fewer issues understanding the concept.  The emptiness isn't really empty.  On earth it's full of air which is more of a fluid than anything else (next time someone complains that they can't swim remind them that they're constantly swimming in air and watch for the slow reaction of realization).  Outside earth space is still filled-sparsely-with molecules, elements and who knows really what else, dark matter maybe.  Aside from the obvious issues with scientists not coming up with interesting names ('dark' matter?  really?), I tend to run into a conceptual issue with the word 'space'.

For English speakers and likely most of those of Western Europeans ideological descent space is the absence of everything else.  At least that's the first reaction typically.  It's what is out past that big blue sky.  The eternity of nothingness.  At least that's what we can perceive with the naked eye.  No optical or radio telescopes to assist.  Not even a sextant to guide us like Brahe and Havelius in their recordings.  How do we understand our universe then?

Perspective.

The numbers of writing

I'm writing a book.  I'm not trying to make it a very long book, nor is it non-fiction and requiring an abundance of facts and figures collected from outside sources.  It's purely fiction (as pure as fiction can be while rooted in reality).  And it's still not easy to do.  I have a good idea of where I want to be going with the book, but it's more an exercise in trying to actually write everyday and to a high number of words.

If you figure at only 350 words a page for a 200 page book it's 70000 words.  It seems like a lot, and depending on how well I'm writing on any given day I might be able to produce 1000 words.  Those are still the good days.  I'm hoping for closer to 2000 words a day.  I figure if I can average about 750 words a day over the course of a week if I'm doing well and actually able to write in the direction I want the story to go.

So with those numbers and assuming I actually average 750 words a day it will take me 93 1/3 days to write the book.  Or, at 5 days a week 18 2/3 weeks.  About four and a half months or so.  This isn't really fast enough to suit my liking as it's becoming more and more difficult to continue with the book I'm trying to write.

It's one of the reasons I've started writing here as well.  I wondered if perhaps my mind was starting to get one dimensional in my writing and I needed to add another facet to my writing to both pursue the other random thoughts bumbling around my mind like the people leaving a bar after last call.  In less metaphorical words, randomly with no discernible rationality to them.

That's my question then for today.  Is it possible for a person to become too lost in one idea or thought that even it starts to suffer in it's isolation?  And does anyone have any tips on how to write more productively?