Space. I'm not particularly always pleased with the location in space I find myself. It's far too hot for my liking, way too much humidity, and not nearly enough good snow in the winter. It's on these occasions I find it more palatable to remove my consciousness from this spatial location and imagine the pleasant immediate surroundings to be located spatially elsewhere.It's not that everything in my immediate vicinity causes an angst-ridden existence, but there is certainly enough to cause daily discomfort and dissatisfaction. The suburban feel of the urban is enough to drive me mental on most days. And if I were to try walking more than a couple blocks in any but a handful of very specific directions I would find myself surrounded by the idealization of the American dream. Or at least the one from the 1950s.
For those who know me well, you by now surely know that I don't particularly buy into that dream. There is no white picket fence for which to house the small nuclear family with 2.1 replacement fertility children and a lovable guard/family dog to play inside that fenced in yard. This isn't me saying that the dream itself is ridiculous, realistically without it we would be decreasing in population and that isn't particularly a good direction to move.
What I am saying is that I can't stand it. There's far too much compromise in the faces that I see. Far too much sadness and dissatisfaction with the world. Or maybe it's the face of an absent mind. The question for me is, can happiness actually be obtained in the world of compromised ideas? In a world where the media directs us to what to think and believe? If so, why do we make believe so very much? There seems to be a very basic logic problem. Either I can believe that zombies are real and were invading my neighborhood the other night, or I can suspend my sense and state of being and participate in the illusion that zombies are real and are walking the street.This question seems to boil down to a very specific point for me. Can we suspend our 'self' from our 'Self' often and long enough to navigate the world around us? The lowercase 'self' in this case is being used to define the person that we show to the world around us. The thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions that we choose to share with the social world around us. The uppercase 'Self' is the person that we truly are when we introspectively understand our thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions. It's not the person that we share, but it's who we really are.
If we suspend the two from each other and create a large enough disconnect between them, are we just lying to ourselves or to each other? In the same way, who am I lying to when I imagine the space around me to be located elsewhere? Myself or everyone else?
Hallway Photo: jeffk Zombie Photo: Lousiville Zombie Walk
